I recently had some thoughts about this blog. Mainly, the thoughts revolved around this question: why don't I write more in it? My immediate answer, which has been programmed into my mind for so long I almost forgot to think beyond it, is "I don't have time." But now I know it's not really true. I claim to love writing, and I do. And I know that I usually find time to do what I love doing. So why haven't I found time to write on this blog?
Now I think I know why. It's because I was never completely sure what I wanted to use this blog for. It may seem obvious. It's my personal blog. I should just put anything I want in it, write whatever I damn please. But in reality it's not that simple. Somehow, I feel more self conscious now that I run an online business where my online presence becomes a reference for people who don't know me that well. I've also been reading a lot of fantastic blogs, written by people who always seem to have clever things to say in a clever way. Or people who are "inspiring". Or people whose life stories are so interesting, you only need to look at the pictures in his/her blogs to make you feel like you want to trade lives with them. These people made me wonder if anything I wrote, or will write, is really worth sharing. So in my mind, I sort of gave myself this unrealistic pressure to write only super clever, super inspiring and super interesting stuff on this blog. Which is why my mind goes blank everytime I opened Blogger dashboard.